A Creative Thought June 17

Perhaps, one reason we should live life to its best potential on earth, having all the creative adventures we can, may suggest one creative thought about heaven. This is just my idea and of course, heaven will have much greater ideas and opportunities that are needed then.

        But just suppose when in heaven, we will remember connections that matter to God and get a chance to tell our useful experiences to each other and the angels with such meaningful terms that they will feel them as if they had experienced them too. After all, angels do not get to experience the salvation process in the same way as humans.

        So, why not? It can be a time of true honesty and compliment to God’s glory and power. And since we have an eternity and are in no hurry, every little detail can be shared without hindrance. Of course, all the evil will be removed. So, what is a pure, clean, honest experience? How much risk can be in it? How much knowledge is needed? How much feeling?

        Stay with me awhile. I’m still discussing honesty perspective.

Suppose an energy, something like awareness that is not ruled by pretense or false values, will guide our telling our stories throughout eternity. If something like an opportunity to tell our stories does happen, then it makes sense to shape and sharpen our creative imagination in this world to prepare for the next. Existence will be much richer for the opportunity.

        One good story, one experience might take weeks, months, years [although time is certainly different in heaven]. One story might be told over and over for everyone to hear and it not become tiresome. The teller would have complete mastery of the language, so he/she would never tell it the same and thus no boredom. There might even be something like writing out adventures to share or background heavenly music while telling.

        What is my point? Our lives are our stories. We want them authentic, real, interesting, and useful. Having a new perspective of honesty can rewrite your story in such a way to make God, heaven, and angels rejoice. Can I guarantee this? No, but I can show you some fresh thinking and then, you may move your perspective in a more accurate direction.

        My significant mission became John 3:21,

“But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God.” [CSB, Holman]

        The Greek language of the verse above indicates that the living by truth means speak the truth, exhibit truth behaviors, and display any effort as a labor for God. This became my permanent intent. Have I always been able to live the intent? NO. I still work at it every day. But I have learned some things along the way and so I share. [more to follow]

A Perspective Change Honesty June 13

With my new direction of education, a new thought hit me. What important issues define our behavior? Many behavioral approaches try to convince you that your circumstances are in total control. So, you must always change your circumstances.  However, some say the circumstances are not the total problem, but rather how we perceive situations.

I found through God’s unchanging perspective of humanity, we could change our perspective and see things clearly and honesty helps us do that. God is always producing what the world can be and what we can become. He opened a new window to my soul, and I saw with new eyes. This “seeing” was something I had searched for without knowing what it was. I had simply interpreted it as wanting to help people with a Biblical kind of God comfort.      [2 Cor.1:4].

        A large part of my perspective change was the idea of how a person tells the truth. Telling the truth doesn’t mean you must tell everything all the time, always. You do have to develop a willingness to be truthful about everything, but you don’t have to blurt it out continually. I am willing to tell a significant person all--- at times. That person must value what I value and share a mutual acceptance attitude. The possibility exists we can enter confession or unload burdens like the scripture suggests. [Gal. 6:2].

        How I saw myself and how others saw me changed so that I no longer needed to let non-chosen occurrences define me, but I was to learn how to define my situations with God’s enlightened path. For instance, I had to understand how God views our time here on earth. I think He sees all that is happening as part of His plan to remake His creation into what it is supposed to be. He waits for us to enter that “becoming” stage when we can change to the better. After all, in a sense, He became a part of His own creation in Jesus. We may never understand this. Thank goodness for faith He gives.

From my new viewpoint, my pursuit needed to find the genuine self within, removing as much sham, pretense, and external trappings. I needed to see more of what God was doing. I wanted to find the best potential in myself and other people. And I must say, this process takes as long as it takes. Sometimes, the timeline lasts just as long as we do. But that’s ok because we want to finish our personal story. We want to have a beginning, middle, and end that possibly imprints society as to the fact it matters, we were here. And even those that experience short timelines, and do not get to finish their personal timeline, have the assurance of God’s Grace. He treats however long a life lasts, as if it were complete in Christ. [more to follow]

Honesty Journey June 12

In the early days of college and first pastoring, the painful truth was, on the outside, I was righteous and moral, but my center was wrong. I was doing good things from a bad motive, the self-motive. In our culture, sins of the flesh like lust, appetite or greed are obvious sins Christians can openly reject. But hidden sins go unnoticed. My sins were those of inward character: pride, self-righteousness, prejudice, aloofness. These faults I could hide. And something like pride is easily overlooked by the masses. Maybe this is one of the reasons Jesus commented on one occasion that the publicans and harlots could get into the kingdom of God easier than the prideful, religious rich Pharisee.

Over time, other influential voices said I needed to go to Seminary where the genuine theologians taught deeper meanings of Christ’s love and plan. Because I felt so established where I was in a church, in a new house, in a friendly community, I spent hours in prayer, cried in silence, longing to hear directly from God. Why didn’t He just bump me on the head and tell me clearly what to do? I discovered that was not how God works.

As I pastored, some people rededicated their lives, some were converted and some even felt called to a professional ministry. But I noticed the church structure was little practical help to those individuals with harsh, everyday problems. Most days the people sat and listened, then went home to their unsolved problems for the rest of the week. My messages became increasingly centered on solving people’s difficulties.

One day I chose to go visit an old pastor of mine. He’d lived an amazing life. He’d started two or three churches, had two different families, and couldn’t preach without crying somewhere in the message. He could smoke a cigar and tell a gasoline pump attendant about Jesus at the same time. I liked him because of his honesty. Although he had no Seminary training, he had family with strong ties to Seminary and suggested I seek them and talk my concerns.

After some weeks of struggle and visiting with my old pastor’s kin, I felt impressed to enroll in a Seminary for an advanced degree. I uprooted the family and started another spiritual journey. For a short period, I kept the pastorate because it was my only source of adequate income. I commuted an ungodly distant of miles to take seminary courses and then I made a surprising discovery about my preaching. I noticed I was performing more like a pulpit therapist than a theological leader.

I resigned my pastorate and concentrated on seminary studies, taking all the theological courses, I could handle. Lacking only six hours finishing a master’s degree in theology, I made another surprising discovery. I bumped up against the field of Christian counseling. I found you could work toward a master’s and a doctorate in counseling. So, I switched majors and entered the field of behavioral science from a Christian perspective. At one point, in those days, I even attended two different seminaries to piece together the courses I wanted, courses that made Biblical applications to the modern problems of people. Everyone around me stayed mystified. They thought I had lost all perspective. But I felt a deep excitement inside and fulfillment with this new direction. And while the years that followed displayed bumpy potholes in my path, my decisive road I traveled in those days turned out to be correct. I worked, completed a Master’s and Doctorate and entered the field of higher education, hoping that working with students, who are often more honest, might further combat any deceptive practice. [more to follow]

Personal Journey [honesty] June 11

Keep in mind that I am on a pilgrimage here and entering higher education was part of my journey. I entered university studies not knowing many answers to my own doubts. I had seen struggles of church people, their questions about life and death, instances when finances crashed, when health betrayed them. My hope was that the teachers I met could furnish wise Biblical answers. If they could, the three jobs I had to work to pay for school might be worth all. I did feel God’s love towards me and that maybe I could find ways to share Jesus was real.

Along with my studies, I immersed myself in church activity, trying to win some.  As one of my three jobs, I even tried leading a small mission church that was an extension of a larger church body.  It was definitely a growth time to see people in their poorest but sincere Christian walk. But besides that, I still noticed no matter where you attended established church, people turned the intimacy of God’s unconditional love into discussions of ethics, moral behavior, or intellectual pursuits of what the bible may be saying. Don’t get me wrong. I saw sympathetic efforts. But to me, we need God’s compassion that embraces, not sympathy which cares from a distance. Like today, not too many Christians want the vitality of God’s approach to honesty and change. Change always involves risk and risk-taking does not go well with established, institutional religion.

Doggedly, I finished a bachelor’s degree and the pressure was on as what was next. By now, I had a wife and two children, and I left the college setting with no clear answers, only more sophisticated questions. I went to work for a newspaper that catered to the Christian public. The job paid well, and I thought I might learn more. All the while, however, I felt the underneath pain of dishonesty and failure. This lasted awhile until one day, I was in Dallas, Texas working when President John Kennedy was assassinated. When I saw a whole city like Dallas grind to a halt, I had to stop and evaluate my personal life. The event showed me there is a much larger world out there.

From out of nowhere [except heaven] came a call to pastor a small country church and move closer to my extended family. I thought if I could lead a group of people in an honest, redemptive manner, I would obtain all the answers I needed. I stayed deep in professional church work for five years, had two more children and grappled every Sunday with my own dilemmas. Every week was like striving to claw my way out of a hole because I did not feel I was discovering true honesty. I prayed, fasted, gave money. Life still became a ritual in my job. [more to follow]

More Personal Honesty June 10

After my conversion and throughout the rest of my high school years, I struggled with the practice of Christianity, I think because, for a while, I never joined a formal Christian community. After graduation, I got married, obtained a decent job, and tried the church scene. One of the blessings God gave me was to gain insight into Christian people. I watched them closely and became perplexed with how they tended to seek the status quo. I thought Jesus was supposed to start a revolution in people’s hearts and thinking.

Yet I saw people just keeping Jesus nailed to the Cross, missing the joyful news of the resurrection. People followed the rituals. They wore the garments of Christian living. Those that gave to the church did so in ways that seemed to benefit themselves. It was as if the old spiritual garments were too comfortable for any drastic change, and yet, when life became harsh and troubled, the people only patched the old garments instead of searching to wear any new. I became more perplexed in my observations, trying hard not to criticize, but asking myself continually,” Was I somehow wrong in my views?” “What was truth anyway?”

After about three years, I was impressed I needed more information and knowledge. I felt God’s calling to go forward with education. In my mind, maybe an advanced degree would show me what was correct. So off to a Christian college I journeyed, dragging a wife and child.

As Jesus himself spoke in parables, my parable came from Mt.13:52, “Therefore every scribe instructed concerning the kingdom of heaven is like a householder, who brings out of his treasure, things old and new.” [NKJV] I went searching for those scribes, teachers who were filled with the spirit of that kingdom which is supposed to be honest with love and peace. I needed those who could interpret the old and the new and give me new truths.

When I told my boss, I was leaving my prestigious job to go to college, he went ballistic. He yelled I was too old, too dumb, too unrealistic and that I would fail because what I wanted to pursue did not pay much. Then he tempted me by saying I had a very bright future with him and would become rich with solid benefits in a short time.

But you see, none of that mattered. I had to find out some things for myself. I had to find out what made church and Christian people work. If this thing called Christianity was real, I had to understand why we all could not live the joy from the redemption Jesus provided. Weren’t we all supposed to be different in our desires than the world wants in money, prestige, and power? At the time, everyone said the answers were to be found in a school of Christian higher learning. I was young enough in my Christian walk to believe them, so off I went. [More personal honesty to follow]

Personal word June 9

In the days of the Graham Association, they often sent preaching teams to small town churches. Billy Graham’s son came to town to preach a revival. These were the early days of Graham and I had never heard of him or his organization. Also, I had never attended a small, Baptist church. I did not have any Sunday clothes to wear so I ended up borrowing some from my older brother. In some album pictures, I look like a clothed scarecrow.

        The morning the preacher preached, I don’t remember any significant words he said, except during an invitation time. He said if anyone would come to the front [I felt he talked to me directly] I could experience salvation and that would make me a part of an everlasting family. He continued by saying that this new family was in a kingdom of God whose Son was Jesus and I could have a new father and brother in a family that would never fail me.

        Fortunately, I moved quickly to the front, mesmerized by the promises, not totally understanding what was happening to me. After the preacher prayed and I followed his prayer, that morning I accepted Jesus as Savior and was baptized later that afternoon. After the baptism, I will never forget an experience I had with an evening sunset.

        Weeks earlier, to escape my home pressures, I had built a simple tree house along an irrigation ditch. This was my place to watch a setting sun, feel some peace and the only place I felt I belonged. After my baptism, I hurried to my tree to watch the sun. Colors had never been so brilliant. Bird sounds made sweet music. Light had never been so clear. All of nature never smelled so rich and absorbing. Of course, I was glowing in an emotional high, but I knew something, and someone had literally joined my person. My immediate feeling of forgiveness was like all my emotions got dumped into a large funnel and were syphoned down through some narrow path to a welcome homecoming.

        I was left with an engraved impression that has never left me. Finally, I had a true family and I felt I knew what truth was. I belonged somewhere forever. I no longer felt any significant rejection of earthly parents and, I could forgive their inhumanity to a bewildered youth. Before conversion, I literally knew what lostness was. I was deeply lost from my earthly connections and lost to myself.  I was adrift, unforgiven, full of unrest and left to my own inexperience, stumbling along with unproven life principles. My mistakes were huge because I was circumstantially and spiritually lost.

What difference did accepting Jesus make? The difference was [and is] my identity changed as I now felt a genuine part of a family. I felt I could see truth better, how things really were. I no longer had to fight others or myself. Before my change, I thought life cruel, offering truly little happiness, no stability. But Jesus became my Savior, true friend, and brother. Although I did not understand all at the time, God was no longer some vague principle of goodness but a personal acquaintance I knew.

At times, I still find myself not trusting happiness too much. I tend to look for the old proverbial shoe to fall. At times, I have dark thoughts, old fears of rejection, needing that sense of affection and belonging. In my more honest moments, I feel them all. I often wonder why and how long these failings will bombard my thinking. When I am most observant, I feel them. I still do not like to confront some of life’s disappointments, but I’m getting better because the down times don’t seem as long as the up times. I believe my up times are helped by a discovery: the world does not revolve around me alone, what I do or don’t do. I am simply one of many children of God but I’m in the family that counts. And that’s ok. I’m just trying to be the real me and know my part in the family. And like my old grandmother used to say, “I may be the caboose, but I’m still on the train!”

A Personal Word [more honesty] June 8

I need to tell you a little about my salvation journey and discovery of permanent truth.

        Originally, I lived in a split-parent household. Up until 14 years of age, the only value, outside of myself, was going with a friend to a Boy Scout meeting in the basement of a local church. The only serious idea I had of God was that if he existed, he was just some form of goodness “out there” among the stars and galaxies. Usually, the only time I used the word “God” was to curse. I thought that exercise made me more grown up to use such language.

        As I approached more of my teen years, my situation got worse. It appeared neither one of my parents wanted me around. In fact, one day my mother told me I had been an accident of birth, not really planned. She thought she was helping by explaining things, but to a fourteen-year-old, it did not work. Her life was complicated with my then stepfather and I understand that now. But then, the reality was, I was an inconvenience. My parents did not want me around. Actually, I wasn’t that much of a problem, no drugs, or complications like that. I was just an active teen who was a burden because I existed. I even worked hard at making good grades, thinking that would win someone’s admiration.

        One hot summer day in Texas, my mother put me on a bus to go live with my Dad in California. I really did not know him. He was a man who really did not know how to relate to children. He had remarried and I was to go live with him and a new stepmom. I was truly crushed because I had just tied in my grades with another boy for valedictorian of the eighth grade and had been chosen president of my class. There I was, whisked away with one small tattered suitcase and a name tag on my shirt. Never in my conscious life had I been more than fifty miles from what I thought was home. I’m not after sympathy here. Just telling part of my story.

        Days and miles away, I arrived in an unfamiliar state, not feeling wanted there either because I felt like a homeless straggler to a new place and new people. For about six months, I stayed numb. I held to my little cubbyhole of a room I shared with another and daydreamed how someday I’d get rich and find people who would appreciate my talents. School became drudgery but I did play basketball and that saved me for a while. I had only one or two persons I called friends and I was never sure I could ask one to stay over for a night. As I look back now, because I was a burden to my parent and stepparent, my friends probably felt the ongoing tension enough to just stay away.

        After some time, an amazing incident interrupted my life. My parents took and dropped me off at a spin off Billy Graham crusade event. To this day, I don’t know why because I was not causing any obvious grief and they were not church goers. I suppose now I could say God is always after us because he loves us when we don’t know what is happening. [ more to follow]