More Honesty Actions June 30

Continued from June 29:

4) Take some leisure time and make a list of persons who you think could help hold you accountable in honest sharing. It may start with only one who keeps two-way confidentiality. That’s ok. Other persons can happen later. They still need to be significant in that they are willing to deeply share with you their own troubles, faults, or weaknesses. They should also be able to keep confidences. This action is not just dumping your problems on someone. Sharing needs to reach a close, equal amount of exposure to each other. This makes us strugglers together, bearing each other’s burdens in Christ. [Gal.6:2] You will understand this effort better when it happens to you.

5) Develop a time and place to meet for sharing with persons. Use prayer and bearing one another’s burdens in confessional manner. [James 5:16]. You could do this with Zoom or some technology that allows you to personally share. You might just go to lunch with someone as an individual approach. You might meet for a walk and talk. Or, you might meet in a small group time. Do this activity as often as practical, but at least, once a month. Everyone needs to unburden once a month, so you don’t carry around emotional garbage unnecessarily.

6) Develop a specific action list for practice of honest sharing with others. This is an extension of number 5. Put the list on a calendar, like Friday share with Janet. Of course, Janet needs to commit like you to this sharing. For instance, commit to sharing once/twice a week with someone. Or, pick a specific time of day, like 2 to 4, and tell everyone that is the time you will practice total honesty. They better not ask you something at that time unless they want full honest response. I know, I know, the true goal is to be honest all the time. But you need to start somewhere as a practice. [more]

Specific honesty actions June 29

Now the following are active attempts at helping you work at making honesty more aware and creating a personal journey.

Your first action needs to be: Pray and Commit to Holy Spirit that will help define honesty with yourself and others.

I know most people do not like to write but taking notes, making thoughts tangible creates a way to review what is so easily forgotten. Whatever your method, put these in your cell phone memory section or put on paper so you can look at them often. Making a tangible record is one action attempt. Remember, this section challenges you to establish action efforts that lead to better behavior. Also, these are not in any order of significance. You can move them around to accomplish those you are ready for right now.

1). Write a personal note to God, like a letter, just your own thoughts about areas of life you are afraid for Him to expose or evaluate. You do not have to show this to anyone. This is your private letter. It’s ok to start an honest effort with God. I know He already knows all, but He also wants you to discuss things with him. Writing something down helps to stabilize your aware function. And that is a part of practicing being conscious of His presence. Besides, when earthly struggles take over your life, the written letter can be a reminder, a review of your original intention. Some of you like to write diaries. That’s ok too.

2) Make specific times to pray for Holy Spirit to mold you into honesty efforts. Pray for honesty just as strongly as you pray for health. Choose exact times. Imagine Jesus sitting beside you. Pick specific times, like driving to work or each morning with your coffee or whenever and whatever you do something on a regular basis. Ask to mold your honesty attempts through words and actions.

3) At another time, write another list of issues you think that you please God. Avoid comparisons with others. They should be praise centered or gratitude expressions. This does not have to be complicated. You can say things like, “I think God likes it when I give Jesus some credit.” “God likes me better when I am more loving.” This is not bragging, but expressing appreciation. These can remind you of some things you do right with God.

2nd & 3rd Honesty Ideas June 28

First was change perspective. See June 26.

Second, if we commit to an honesty approach that recognizes that someday we may behave truthfully and then, other days, fail with pretense---we must find actions for lifestyle that do NOT define us by our weaknesses. To accomplish this, we need to rely more on Christ’s forgiveness. God’s unlimited forgiveness for his children means, we do not have to be stuck in some weakness or situation. So, we take on intentionally an openness attitude and approach to living.

Now I know this is hard. But again, EASINESS is not the goal. And the increasing challenge to become truthful is we must learn to avoid defending ourselves with every struggle. We can realize that if we commit to God’s permanent truth, He can defend us when necessary. Committing to the process of loving and accurate truth-telling with Jesus and others moves us into the kind of forgiveness that can overcome bad behavior in a Christlike manner. Consequences of bad behavior may not be erased but feeling bad about them need no longer define us.

Third, living a forgiven life, helps us discover new solutions to lying, faking, or presenting false impressions. For new solution attempts to work we must find other persons who accept honesty efforts. This may be one of the very reasons we are to gather together as like-minded Christians for worship. How you get together becomes open for individual interpretation, but gathering together helps us share and gives the Holy Spirit opportunity to correct and renew character growth. [Acts 2:42-44; 5:42]

In my past experience, honesty process helps in even practical ways. For instance, I had a good friend come to me with a business proposition. It involved a new product and I could see; it would make us a lot of money.

The difficulty was the product and approach I would have to be involved did not fit my personality. I hurt his feelings by refusing but I had to be honest and admit that in the long run, I would have hurt his goals and me. So, I could say no because I’d had some honesty growth. I just had to admit who I was and stick with it.

Stay with me. More action follows.

3 Ideas of Honesty June 26

Hang with me because you may discover some things about practicing conscious honesty. Yes, scripture makes us aware we should be truthful all the time. And that certainly remains a goal. But the truth is, most of us are still struggling with just how to live honestly.

Please remember this perspective. You need to remember that sometimes you may be honest but not accurate. You may display honest feelings and thoughts but be inaccurate or incorrect. For instance, you may say honestly “I don’t like that political candidate because he seems selfish.” You may be honest, but your perspective may be inaccurate because you really don’t know the person. You may have seen only the surface facts and not the underneath truths. For this reason, we need to continue a clarification process. Clarification means we must work toward a genuine integrity by comparing what is viewed as truth on the surface and how to practice openness with hidden truths. Other people and programs can be a part of the process. Consequently, “telling the truth” does not always mean you are right. You may think you are telling the truth if you call someone a slug. That may just be feelings or perspective talking. It might be accurate to you, but not the other person who genuinely lives other than a slug. So, one goal is to establish a harmony of what is accurate and what is honest.

        To clarify certain aspects of truth telling, we need to view some definitions of openness. We take a hint from John 1:46-47.

“Can anything good come out of Nazareth? Nathaniel asked. Come and see,” Phillip answered.

Then Jesus saw Nathaniel coming toward him and said about him, Here, truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.” [CSB version]

As we view this occasion of Nathaniel, we see interesting responses.

First, as it appears, Nat seems to be a blunt [openness] individual who says what he thinks, doesn’t hold back, “you get what you see” kind of individual. He seems biased about Nazareth which had a bad cultural reputation at the time. “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” So, while he may have his bias, he doesn’t try to hide or smooth over his thinking. From this and other things we may not know, Jesus views him without guile or deception.

To me, we may come to the first aspect of honesty: we must accept the challenge to practice responding who and how we really are. This means an admittance to God, us and others. And, if who we really are hurts others or displays incorrect thinking, then we work on change. But the point is we need to consciously practice avoiding pretense as a lifestyle.

Maybe Nat should have kept his opinion of Nazareth to himself. Yes, it’s a value call. But on the other hand, he was what he was. I appreciate people who verbally express themselves with no deceit intended. Is this true when they are obviously wrong? While difficult, I think so. Jesus must have also. Sometimes accepting who people are [without accepting bad behavior] is a start to accept who God wants them to become. This may be part of “blessed are the meek” – a practice of absorbing some of the hurt of individuals. [James 5:7]

[2nd and 3rd ideas follow]

True partner June 25

Granted, Psalms 8 reminds us that humans were made just a little lower than the heavenly beings. We have the power of dominion over everything on earth. But if that power gets misused, we suffer greatly. We need the guidance of someone larger than ourselves. No one human person [not even the best computer] can coordinate everything to satisfy everyone.  We need God’s Holy Spirit guidance to keep from destroying everything. How do we find a personal balance? How do we accomplish a steady involvement with the Holy Spirit?

In the first place, you do not have to push things. Just begin by giving credit where it belongs. We can now belong to Him as friend and confidant. We are His companion and He is our partner. He joins us in a perpetual relationship.

 When are we most His friend?  One answer: When we praise him by giving Him presence. Whether through large or small events, let Him lead. When you step, He steps. When He steps, you step. When you sing, let Him sing. When He sings, you sing. When you speak, use His words as yours. When He speaks, you speak. When he feels, you feel. But always wait on his leading.

        I know always trying to live His presence daily is still scary. But it is one helpful nervousness that moves us toward honesty. Recognizing the Holy Spirit as real and placing Him the center of life reveals an astonishing truth. He will help you with candid efforts. You will not do this alone.

Strength beyond June 24

Unquestionably, since Jesus remains an everlasting reality and a stable companion in all things, we need to pay close attention and recognize the workings of the Holy Spirit he sent us.

        Scripture tells us the human Jesus had to go away but he would leave us a comforter [John 14:16;26]. The comforter is our guide and counselor. Jesus is the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is Jesus. He is not only with us, among us, but within us as a welcome guest. He does not just mess up the guest room and leave either. He always treats it better than we have designed it. Pictures are always straight. The bed is always made. The carpet stays swept and clean. He does not overeat, burn too much electricity or interrupt with obnoxious motivations. His stay remains perfect.

        The challenge is: Do we let him roam the rest of our internal house? Do we just keep him in the guest room and only recognize or let him out when we need him? Ironically, while the Holy Spirit can do anything he wants, he will stay in the guest room until invited out. See, he is polite but wants desperately to intermingle with every part of our house. Is there a way to sustain him more actively in our lives?

        In a sense, our task is to allow His presence throughout our lives increasingly by feeding him, not leftovers but meals of the self. The more we choose other-centered opportunities, the more the Holy Spirit gets invited into life. Systematically, we ease out self-indulgence, self-benefit, self-goals. We design a primary practice of searching ways to fellowship with His plan for others. God’s word becomes the blueprint for constructing the accurate rooms of our house for God’s kingdom growth.

        What do the blueprints show us? Scripture, prayer, praise, and worship can thrive to allow the Holy Spirit access through our own house-body. A daily result can become the peace that truly passes all understanding because we can relax from anxiety and fear, be honest, knowing One greater than us is in control. I want the best carpenter building my house. Don’t you?

        Of course, we fail every day. We leave the wrong doors open. We bump into furniture we’ve moved to the wrong place. We burn the food we prepare for our guest. We stumble, we forget, we get distracted with daily problems by trying to solve issues with our natural resources and skills. But the wonderful good news is we can begin again. Our story does not end when we grant the wrong motivation to crowd out time spent with Holy Spirit. No matter what emotions we may feel, we can choose to give the Holy Spirit daily attention. We can just work hard at behaving as if Jesus is always with us. Take Him with you wherever and whenever you go. Put him in the front seat of the car, instead of the back. When you go to the grocery store, when you go for gasoline, when you go on vacation, look over and ask, “How are we doing Jesus?” He will actively ride along. [more]

The Release Factor June 23

When we accept Christ as the center of our lives the release motivation becomes real. Any Christ committed person yields the inner self, allows personal self-will to grow toward God’s kingdom ideas. What happens next since Jesus is no trickster? We enter a journey of finding out who and what we really are and what action to do about it. The friendship release removes the need for sham, pretense or faking as tools for survival. With a sigh of acceptance, the release action can replace lies, false impressions, and wasted false energy that try to impress or build status.

        This time of freedom allows you to walk in a new kind of love and love a new walk. You may become authentic self and like it, instead of always trying to surprise or please someone or reinvent the self, every day.

An amazing result happens that you often become more naturally and supernaturally attractive to others who want reality in life as well. People will be drawn to you like a magnet because they may see this release, this honesty in you. Remember, this was exactly what happened with the disciples of the New Testament. They spent time with Jesus, absorbed his characteristics and became winsome and attractive in a new way. Christ was not only mentor but partner in every situation.

        Of course, the Cross experience of Jesus is never undervalued, but that remains half the story. His resurrection completed the story and created a whole new opportunity for all humanity. The Cross experience was God the Father’s allowing man to break the back of His Son. The resurrection triumph was God saying He would now break our hearts. A new and magnificent process began. We can journey with the Holy Spirit in this earthly dimension, become authentic human beings after the image of Christ and live at peace with ourselves and others.

        None of the personal adventure happens all at once. We stay in this earthly realm however long we are supposed to stay. I think since we are made in God’s image, we have a built-in pattern to keep creative growth alive. I personally do not think we quit learning when we die. A kind of growth and maturity must exist since we will spend a long time in eternity.

        So, Jesus becomes our permanent savior, brother, teacher, friend, and ally. We find the growth quality to be a release to be authentic, a guide for honesty that helps complete the journey. [more]

A Release June 22

You will discover in Christ that we are more than just our self-interests. See 2 Peter1:4 “. . . through these promises, you will share in the divine nature . . .” This privileged encounter and shared friendship/partnership with Jesus will start a release motivation.

        Remember from your early up-bringing, your self-talk often pushed your thoughts by saying you needed to go out into the world and show everyone you were worth something. The inner voice demanded you become successful, achieve things in the world values, become known as a doer of magnificence. The inner conversation kept repeating you would not be loved if not recognized for your good works. Within this pull was the idea that true love can only be earned; it was never free.

        Inch by inch, the misdirected truth-voice tries to chip away at the real voice that affirms I am loved by God, undeniably and free of merit. Even today, if you let the voice, you will hear it coming from friends, family, or church. The thoughts come: Why am I not given any attention? Why am I not as good as so in so? Why would they hurt me? If you are not careful, you will start to daydream riches and fame. All the tempting thoughts remind you of the moments you have allowed your faith only to weaken. Yet, in your better moments, you know God has truly made you one of His heirs.

        You may wonder if you will ever be free of the misconceptions? You may have to battle misdirection all your life, but so far, you can say with Jesus, “man does not live by bread alone.”

You may wonder if you were released when the salvation experience occurred?  Yes, you were given the power to be released from loneliness, from the feeling of belonging nowhere, from sins you could not solve yourself. Salvation remains a wonderful, supernatural experience. But at the time of any lack of clarification and personal church experience, conversion may have seemed too other worldly, like a whole different dimension, unreachable by any physical effort. The spiritual and physical appeared too divided. Perhaps once, you could not harmonize the two or feel good about the separation of physical and spiritual.

        But when you realize Jesus as friend, a release happens that settles the tension between physical and spiritual. A genuine friend doesn’t play “Gotcha”, point out every mistake you make. I true friend helps create new options or directions of travel. Jesus becomes what I call a synergistic bridge, a meshing to understand the spiritual and physical can cooperate and become more than the sum of each individual parts. It happens when we understand the sharing of the divine nature of Jesus. Your spiritual and physical [S & P] does not have to war all the time because Jesus becomes an ally, a genuine reality that is permanent. He is no longer some unreachable idea of goodness. In the form of the Holy Spirit, He walks, talks, guides daily when you take in his words and pay attention. The Matthew 5 guidelines become the correct road to travel in any generation.

        The whole process of release is not some vague, mysterious ritual that only a few can possess. Any Christ committed person can yield by offering the inner self, allowing one’s personal self-will to grow toward God’s kingdom ideas, and truly trust Jesus everyday as a partner, permanent reality, no trickster, and friend. You don’t have to beg, barter, or promise. Trust becomes a two-way street. You are free from game playing. Remember, you can’t out-think the Holy Spirit anyway. [more]

The Real friend June 20

Please stay patient with my personal experiences. They are just examples I know I can trust. This work is still about honesty as I am trying to be just that.

Sometime after the passing of my Dad, my mother passed as well. Mother had been more in touch with me over the years, so we had said most everything to each other. The only drama with her was I had to give the main speech at her funeral and that came out as naturally as speaking for a friend. After their deaths, the Holy Spirit seemed to say,” Trust me. I’m the friend that never goes away or dies no matter what.”

 Well, many times before, you may have heard that Jesus was your friend but you still felt there was a part of Him from God the Father that might be out to get you because of your shortcomings; you are not sure. Of course, you may have believed Jesus was God and he died for you, although you didn’t understand [still don’t] why he would, but the dying sacrifice is much higher in definition than your feeling any earthbound friendship. So now, the Holy Spirit says to make Him friend. The process often starts after you experience any gut-wrenching pain of loss.

The closest earth friend I ever had was killed by a negligent auto driver. I spent days lambasting God, sending him “why” thunder bolts, almost drowning in my misery. Why did He let this happen? Why did He let the one person I let into my very soul, die? Especially why when there were so many others around not worthy to live. For a long time, I got no answer. He seemed to answer with silence. You see, asking God why is asking Him to explain the whole universe system. Our minds are too small. Only the eternity of heaven will allow such explanation.

        Then one day, I quit asking why and started asking, “What am I to do now? Who am I to be?” Suddenly, it was as if God spoke one word: Friend. My initial response was, “Yes, I know I just lost a friend, So?” Several times, He just impressed upon me, “Friend.”

        Slowly some light began to seep through my warped perception. God was not answering me about my next earthly friendship as to what I was going to do. He was trying to get me to see He was my true friend already.

When I realized this, my whole self, made an about face, turned around, as dramatic as when you switch sides in bed. You turn, reposition, usually wake up some and settle into a new place. The truth of His being my friend changed my overall viewpoint. Looking at life experiences through the eyes of knowing you have an eternal friend, no matter what, releases the acceptance quality to full measure. No longer was I cared for because I earned something or with a temporary love you could lose by death, but I knew I had an eternal, live friend and was totally accepted just for being me. You see, a real friend is forever.

        In your present situation, it may not matter as much what you are doing but try to filter it through the idea that Jesus is your best friend and he joins you in any endeavor. Whether working on some project for the house, figuring finances, going to church, writing, doing something for friends or family, ask your friend to hang out with you just because you like him. By doing this, your whole prayer life can change. You can still do traditional kinds of praying, but now you can do a lot more conversational talk with your friend. And believe it or not, He does talk back in many ways. [more]

A Surprise Change June 19

Any change you consider moving closer to what Jesus wants, you will still experience some fear and trembling. You will sense the fact that you have not full arrived in some kind of perfection. But when you finally take seriously other-centered approaches to a Christian journey, the idea of prayer takes on new meaning. No longer do you need feel you have to beg God for anything. You do not have to spend hours and hours pleading your case.  You will find God is already doing things you want. Now, you just need to pay attention and see His work. Your prayers take more the form of “please remember_______.” And it is not that you think God could forget, but the remembrance is for your benefit for growth. While you no longer live in the past, you can still discuss an issue and talk the idea with friend Jesus. A new process and perspective have begun.

        The Holy Spirit will become more of a person and friend by letting you know that Jesus is not just some historical figure of the past but a very present reality. You can place Him in a chair next to you and just talk to a friend. You can also place him in the car with you as you go to a store and get frustrated looking for that difficult parking spot.

        I’m afraid you are like me in that you don’t have more than two to three genuine friends through a lifetime. I tended to go through life picking only one person as a close friend [safer I thought]. Of course, over time, something controversial happens, you may lose that individual and you will have to start all over in forming another friendship which still appears a painful exercise. The whole process is how you may tend to shelter and guard your self-vulnerability.

        But then, a different kind of losing can happen and death becomes a kind of wake-up call. Death comes to many living things of course. But death of close people in your life becomes such a disrupter and makes us stop and think. Both my parents died, not at the same time, thankfully.

        Again, the Holy Spirit showed me something and I feel it was pure grace coming from God. When my father became ill and in hospital, much prayer occurred, but there was an issue of two things I personally wanted to see before he went. Because I never had a close relationship with my Dad, I always wanted to hear him call me “son” and tell me he loved me.

So, while I was the only one in the room one night, he had gotten so nauseated he turned to me and said, “Son. . . would you get another nurse for me.” He didn’t like the nurse he had and wanted another. Still, he called me SON.

 Later, I could see he was losing perception, so I went to his bedside. I clamped both my hands on his face and turned him to look at me. I said, Dad, I love you.” He looked bewildered and I don’t know if it was because what I said or his physical state of the moment. After a pause, he said, “Son, I love you too.” God still does gracious things.  [more]

Self-Interest June 18

An astonishing fact remains to me that Jesus, the very Son of God, never sought praise. Praise never seemed to be His goal for himself. He lived consistently for others. Perhaps the only time a concept of self-centeredness crept into His life was at the Garden of Gethsemane with one of his biggest temptations, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me. Nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.” [Mark 13:36, NKJV]. He kept a low profile every time he could until his death. And that certainly was not any definition of praise except to a mysterious God the Father.

Personally, I believe there is a difference between self-centered action and self-interest action. Self-centered behavior always results in favoring the Self core and receiving something in return. You are motivated to get return for your action.

On the other hand, you CAN perform self-interest for the benefit of others. For instance, sometimes people love to give stuff [self-interest], like tools, money, things they may have made just for the joy of seeing others receive. The receivers may not appreciate or give any credit to those who gave. That’s ok. The givers do not need any bragging rights.

It seems at the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus just responded with normal self-interest when he asked for the cup to pass, but He ended with surrendering to the Father’s will, other centered.

Increasingly, as I discovered the plight of self-centered behavior, another shock occurred in my life. [more]

Ambition June 17

Another surprise that shook my foundation of beliefs was the idea of ambition. For years, I carried a boatload of “need to get ahead” because of my personal upbringing. I am sure there are other reasons for other people. But for me, being from a broken home left me with the belief my broken family achieved little. I know I am wrong about that now. However, in my thinking back then, I was the only one from a family of five and an extended family of five that had finished a college degree. I valued education as a way to move out of bad circumstances. Whoopee!

        Well, part of me still believes that some children from broken homes are left with an ambitious energy that says, “I’m going to amount to something, whether anyone else thinks I’m any good or not.” I realize the pull can help you accomplish stuff, but it may not always be honest. Although pulled by an ambition to achieve, I discovered that any reward of “doingness” did not always guarantee a peaceful “beingness.” Building a successful reputation did not always reduce my anxieties and fears. And of course, I’m not implying that all ambition is bad.

The true change came when I admitted that with many issues, I acted cowardly or at least, with hidden truths. Of course, no one dared call me coward. If someone met me head-on with something, I would fight. But I was not choosing the more subtle and better issues of mercy, kindness, gratitude through the right kind of peace. I felt pulled constantly. When you feel pulled, you push back. And I often wondered, because I lacked a positive relationship with an earthly father, did a heavenly father even like me? On the one hand, I wanted to please my heavenly father, but on the other hand I would rebel at His word because I feared Him. It was not the fear, God might send a thunder bolt and zap me. It was more the anxiety He would ask me to give up my true buried self.

        Also, what kept me perplexed was that the very problems of self-centered motives and burying stuff to avoid [which now seems cowardly to me] were the actual success strategies in the world of competition. The world says, “Do anything to maintain a good self-image. Take care of number one. Don’t be too humble; come out strong.”

The world thinking continues with “avoid issues that will corrupt number one. Don’t show too much mercy. You’ll be viewed as weak. Hang on to certain prejudices to keep on top of the ladder of importance. Don’t humble yourself to any because then, you might have to be grateful. Stay focused with your ambition goals so you get what you want and will be thought of as an achiever. Stay aloof so you won’t be too vulnerable.”

Nothing is more seductive than a misdirected ambition, one that strives for praise and power in whatever form it can pursue. Those who waste life in various forms [life or death] are traveling the path of misinterpreted ambition. So many of us Christians get caught up in misunderstanding acceptable ambition [ the need to go beyond ourselves] such that determining who is Christian today and who is not becomes clouded. Christians and non-Christians alike follow too many self-motivated, dishonest goals and those goals tend to achieve the same. [more to follow]

A Creative Thought June 17

Perhaps, one reason we should live life to its best potential on earth, having all the creative adventures we can, may suggest one creative thought about heaven. This is just my idea and of course, heaven will have much greater ideas and opportunities that are needed then.

        But just suppose when in heaven, we will remember connections that matter to God and get a chance to tell our useful experiences to each other and the angels with such meaningful terms that they will feel them as if they had experienced them too. After all, angels do not get to experience the salvation process in the same way as humans.

        So, why not? It can be a time of true honesty and compliment to God’s glory and power. And since we have an eternity and are in no hurry, every little detail can be shared without hindrance. Of course, all the evil will be removed. So, what is a pure, clean, honest experience? How much risk can be in it? How much knowledge is needed? How much feeling?

        Stay with me awhile. I’m still discussing honesty perspective.

Suppose an energy, something like awareness that is not ruled by pretense or false values, will guide our telling our stories throughout eternity. If something like an opportunity to tell our stories does happen, then it makes sense to shape and sharpen our creative imagination in this world to prepare for the next. Existence will be much richer for the opportunity.

        One good story, one experience might take weeks, months, years [although time is certainly different in heaven]. One story might be told over and over for everyone to hear and it not become tiresome. The teller would have complete mastery of the language, so he/she would never tell it the same and thus no boredom. There might even be something like writing out adventures to share or background heavenly music while telling.

        What is my point? Our lives are our stories. We want them authentic, real, interesting, and useful. Having a new perspective of honesty can rewrite your story in such a way to make God, heaven, and angels rejoice. Can I guarantee this? No, but I can show you some fresh thinking and then, you may move your perspective in a more accurate direction.

        My significant mission became John 3:21,

“But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God.” [CSB, Holman]

        The Greek language of the verse above indicates that the living by truth means speak the truth, exhibit truth behaviors, and display any effort as a labor for God. This became my permanent intent. Have I always been able to live the intent? NO. I still work at it every day. But I have learned some things along the way and so I share. [more to follow]

A Perspective Change Honesty June 13

With my new direction of education, a new thought hit me. What important issues define our behavior? Many behavioral approaches try to convince you that your circumstances are in total control. So, you must always change your circumstances.  However, some say the circumstances are not the total problem, but rather how we perceive situations.

I found through God’s unchanging perspective of humanity, we could change our perspective and see things clearly and honesty helps us do that. God is always producing what the world can be and what we can become. He opened a new window to my soul, and I saw with new eyes. This “seeing” was something I had searched for without knowing what it was. I had simply interpreted it as wanting to help people with a Biblical kind of God comfort.      [2 Cor.1:4].

        A large part of my perspective change was the idea of how a person tells the truth. Telling the truth doesn’t mean you must tell everything all the time, always. You do have to develop a willingness to be truthful about everything, but you don’t have to blurt it out continually. I am willing to tell a significant person all--- at times. That person must value what I value and share a mutual acceptance attitude. The possibility exists we can enter confession or unload burdens like the scripture suggests. [Gal. 6:2].

        How I saw myself and how others saw me changed so that I no longer needed to let non-chosen occurrences define me, but I was to learn how to define my situations with God’s enlightened path. For instance, I had to understand how God views our time here on earth. I think He sees all that is happening as part of His plan to remake His creation into what it is supposed to be. He waits for us to enter that “becoming” stage when we can change to the better. After all, in a sense, He became a part of His own creation in Jesus. We may never understand this. Thank goodness for faith He gives.

From my new viewpoint, my pursuit needed to find the genuine self within, removing as much sham, pretense, and external trappings. I needed to see more of what God was doing. I wanted to find the best potential in myself and other people. And I must say, this process takes as long as it takes. Sometimes, the timeline lasts just as long as we do. But that’s ok because we want to finish our personal story. We want to have a beginning, middle, and end that possibly imprints society as to the fact it matters, we were here. And even those that experience short timelines, and do not get to finish their personal timeline, have the assurance of God’s Grace. He treats however long a life lasts, as if it were complete in Christ. [more to follow]

Honesty Journey June 12

In the early days of college and first pastoring, the painful truth was, on the outside, I was righteous and moral, but my center was wrong. I was doing good things from a bad motive, the self-motive. In our culture, sins of the flesh like lust, appetite or greed are obvious sins Christians can openly reject. But hidden sins go unnoticed. My sins were those of inward character: pride, self-righteousness, prejudice, aloofness. These faults I could hide. And something like pride is easily overlooked by the masses. Maybe this is one of the reasons Jesus commented on one occasion that the publicans and harlots could get into the kingdom of God easier than the prideful, religious rich Pharisee.

Over time, other influential voices said I needed to go to Seminary where the genuine theologians taught deeper meanings of Christ’s love and plan. Because I felt so established where I was in a church, in a new house, in a friendly community, I spent hours in prayer, cried in silence, longing to hear directly from God. Why didn’t He just bump me on the head and tell me clearly what to do? I discovered that was not how God works.

As I pastored, some people rededicated their lives, some were converted and some even felt called to a professional ministry. But I noticed the church structure was little practical help to those individuals with harsh, everyday problems. Most days the people sat and listened, then went home to their unsolved problems for the rest of the week. My messages became increasingly centered on solving people’s difficulties.

One day I chose to go visit an old pastor of mine. He’d lived an amazing life. He’d started two or three churches, had two different families, and couldn’t preach without crying somewhere in the message. He could smoke a cigar and tell a gasoline pump attendant about Jesus at the same time. I liked him because of his honesty. Although he had no Seminary training, he had family with strong ties to Seminary and suggested I seek them and talk my concerns.

After some weeks of struggle and visiting with my old pastor’s kin, I felt impressed to enroll in a Seminary for an advanced degree. I uprooted the family and started another spiritual journey. For a short period, I kept the pastorate because it was my only source of adequate income. I commuted an ungodly distant of miles to take seminary courses and then I made a surprising discovery about my preaching. I noticed I was performing more like a pulpit therapist than a theological leader.

I resigned my pastorate and concentrated on seminary studies, taking all the theological courses, I could handle. Lacking only six hours finishing a master’s degree in theology, I made another surprising discovery. I bumped up against the field of Christian counseling. I found you could work toward a master’s and a doctorate in counseling. So, I switched majors and entered the field of behavioral science from a Christian perspective. At one point, in those days, I even attended two different seminaries to piece together the courses I wanted, courses that made Biblical applications to the modern problems of people. Everyone around me stayed mystified. They thought I had lost all perspective. But I felt a deep excitement inside and fulfillment with this new direction. And while the years that followed displayed bumpy potholes in my path, my decisive road I traveled in those days turned out to be correct. I worked, completed a Master’s and Doctorate and entered the field of higher education, hoping that working with students, who are often more honest, might further combat any deceptive practice. [more to follow]

Personal Journey [honesty] June 11

Keep in mind that I am on a pilgrimage here and entering higher education was part of my journey. I entered university studies not knowing many answers to my own doubts. I had seen struggles of church people, their questions about life and death, instances when finances crashed, when health betrayed them. My hope was that the teachers I met could furnish wise Biblical answers. If they could, the three jobs I had to work to pay for school might be worth all. I did feel God’s love towards me and that maybe I could find ways to share Jesus was real.

Along with my studies, I immersed myself in church activity, trying to win some.  As one of my three jobs, I even tried leading a small mission church that was an extension of a larger church body.  It was definitely a growth time to see people in their poorest but sincere Christian walk. But besides that, I still noticed no matter where you attended established church, people turned the intimacy of God’s unconditional love into discussions of ethics, moral behavior, or intellectual pursuits of what the bible may be saying. Don’t get me wrong. I saw sympathetic efforts. But to me, we need God’s compassion that embraces, not sympathy which cares from a distance. Like today, not too many Christians want the vitality of God’s approach to honesty and change. Change always involves risk and risk-taking does not go well with established, institutional religion.

Doggedly, I finished a bachelor’s degree and the pressure was on as what was next. By now, I had a wife and two children, and I left the college setting with no clear answers, only more sophisticated questions. I went to work for a newspaper that catered to the Christian public. The job paid well, and I thought I might learn more. All the while, however, I felt the underneath pain of dishonesty and failure. This lasted awhile until one day, I was in Dallas, Texas working when President John Kennedy was assassinated. When I saw a whole city like Dallas grind to a halt, I had to stop and evaluate my personal life. The event showed me there is a much larger world out there.

From out of nowhere [except heaven] came a call to pastor a small country church and move closer to my extended family. I thought if I could lead a group of people in an honest, redemptive manner, I would obtain all the answers I needed. I stayed deep in professional church work for five years, had two more children and grappled every Sunday with my own dilemmas. Every week was like striving to claw my way out of a hole because I did not feel I was discovering true honesty. I prayed, fasted, gave money. Life still became a ritual in my job. [more to follow]

More Personal Honesty June 10

After my conversion and throughout the rest of my high school years, I struggled with the practice of Christianity, I think because, for a while, I never joined a formal Christian community. After graduation, I got married, obtained a decent job, and tried the church scene. One of the blessings God gave me was to gain insight into Christian people. I watched them closely and became perplexed with how they tended to seek the status quo. I thought Jesus was supposed to start a revolution in people’s hearts and thinking.

Yet I saw people just keeping Jesus nailed to the Cross, missing the joyful news of the resurrection. People followed the rituals. They wore the garments of Christian living. Those that gave to the church did so in ways that seemed to benefit themselves. It was as if the old spiritual garments were too comfortable for any drastic change, and yet, when life became harsh and troubled, the people only patched the old garments instead of searching to wear any new. I became more perplexed in my observations, trying hard not to criticize, but asking myself continually,” Was I somehow wrong in my views?” “What was truth anyway?”

After about three years, I was impressed I needed more information and knowledge. I felt God’s calling to go forward with education. In my mind, maybe an advanced degree would show me what was correct. So off to a Christian college I journeyed, dragging a wife and child.

As Jesus himself spoke in parables, my parable came from Mt.13:52, “Therefore every scribe instructed concerning the kingdom of heaven is like a householder, who brings out of his treasure, things old and new.” [NKJV] I went searching for those scribes, teachers who were filled with the spirit of that kingdom which is supposed to be honest with love and peace. I needed those who could interpret the old and the new and give me new truths.

When I told my boss, I was leaving my prestigious job to go to college, he went ballistic. He yelled I was too old, too dumb, too unrealistic and that I would fail because what I wanted to pursue did not pay much. Then he tempted me by saying I had a very bright future with him and would become rich with solid benefits in a short time.

But you see, none of that mattered. I had to find out some things for myself. I had to find out what made church and Christian people work. If this thing called Christianity was real, I had to understand why we all could not live the joy from the redemption Jesus provided. Weren’t we all supposed to be different in our desires than the world wants in money, prestige, and power? At the time, everyone said the answers were to be found in a school of Christian higher learning. I was young enough in my Christian walk to believe them, so off I went. [More personal honesty to follow]

Personal word June 9

In the days of the Graham Association, they often sent preaching teams to small town churches. Billy Graham’s son came to town to preach a revival. These were the early days of Graham and I had never heard of him or his organization. Also, I had never attended a small, Baptist church. I did not have any Sunday clothes to wear so I ended up borrowing some from my older brother. In some album pictures, I look like a clothed scarecrow.

        The morning the preacher preached, I don’t remember any significant words he said, except during an invitation time. He said if anyone would come to the front [I felt he talked to me directly] I could experience salvation and that would make me a part of an everlasting family. He continued by saying that this new family was in a kingdom of God whose Son was Jesus and I could have a new father and brother in a family that would never fail me.

        Fortunately, I moved quickly to the front, mesmerized by the promises, not totally understanding what was happening to me. After the preacher prayed and I followed his prayer, that morning I accepted Jesus as Savior and was baptized later that afternoon. After the baptism, I will never forget an experience I had with an evening sunset.

        Weeks earlier, to escape my home pressures, I had built a simple tree house along an irrigation ditch. This was my place to watch a setting sun, feel some peace and the only place I felt I belonged. After my baptism, I hurried to my tree to watch the sun. Colors had never been so brilliant. Bird sounds made sweet music. Light had never been so clear. All of nature never smelled so rich and absorbing. Of course, I was glowing in an emotional high, but I knew something, and someone had literally joined my person. My immediate feeling of forgiveness was like all my emotions got dumped into a large funnel and were syphoned down through some narrow path to a welcome homecoming.

        I was left with an engraved impression that has never left me. Finally, I had a true family and I felt I knew what truth was. I belonged somewhere forever. I no longer felt any significant rejection of earthly parents and, I could forgive their inhumanity to a bewildered youth. Before conversion, I literally knew what lostness was. I was deeply lost from my earthly connections and lost to myself.  I was adrift, unforgiven, full of unrest and left to my own inexperience, stumbling along with unproven life principles. My mistakes were huge because I was circumstantially and spiritually lost.

What difference did accepting Jesus make? The difference was [and is] my identity changed as I now felt a genuine part of a family. I felt I could see truth better, how things really were. I no longer had to fight others or myself. Before my change, I thought life cruel, offering truly little happiness, no stability. But Jesus became my Savior, true friend, and brother. Although I did not understand all at the time, God was no longer some vague principle of goodness but a personal acquaintance I knew.

At times, I still find myself not trusting happiness too much. I tend to look for the old proverbial shoe to fall. At times, I have dark thoughts, old fears of rejection, needing that sense of affection and belonging. In my more honest moments, I feel them all. I often wonder why and how long these failings will bombard my thinking. When I am most observant, I feel them. I still do not like to confront some of life’s disappointments, but I’m getting better because the down times don’t seem as long as the up times. I believe my up times are helped by a discovery: the world does not revolve around me alone, what I do or don’t do. I am simply one of many children of God but I’m in the family that counts. And that’s ok. I’m just trying to be the real me and know my part in the family. And like my old grandmother used to say, “I may be the caboose, but I’m still on the train!”

A Personal Word [more honesty] June 8

I need to tell you a little about my salvation journey and discovery of permanent truth.

        Originally, I lived in a split-parent household. Up until 14 years of age, the only value, outside of myself, was going with a friend to a Boy Scout meeting in the basement of a local church. The only serious idea I had of God was that if he existed, he was just some form of goodness “out there” among the stars and galaxies. Usually, the only time I used the word “God” was to curse. I thought that exercise made me more grown up to use such language.

        As I approached more of my teen years, my situation got worse. It appeared neither one of my parents wanted me around. In fact, one day my mother told me I had been an accident of birth, not really planned. She thought she was helping by explaining things, but to a fourteen-year-old, it did not work. Her life was complicated with my then stepfather and I understand that now. But then, the reality was, I was an inconvenience. My parents did not want me around. Actually, I wasn’t that much of a problem, no drugs, or complications like that. I was just an active teen who was a burden because I existed. I even worked hard at making good grades, thinking that would win someone’s admiration.

        One hot summer day in Texas, my mother put me on a bus to go live with my Dad in California. I really did not know him. He was a man who really did not know how to relate to children. He had remarried and I was to go live with him and a new stepmom. I was truly crushed because I had just tied in my grades with another boy for valedictorian of the eighth grade and had been chosen president of my class. There I was, whisked away with one small tattered suitcase and a name tag on my shirt. Never in my conscious life had I been more than fifty miles from what I thought was home. I’m not after sympathy here. Just telling part of my story.

        Days and miles away, I arrived in an unfamiliar state, not feeling wanted there either because I felt like a homeless straggler to a new place and new people. For about six months, I stayed numb. I held to my little cubbyhole of a room I shared with another and daydreamed how someday I’d get rich and find people who would appreciate my talents. School became drudgery but I did play basketball and that saved me for a while. I had only one or two persons I called friends and I was never sure I could ask one to stay over for a night. As I look back now, because I was a burden to my parent and stepparent, my friends probably felt the ongoing tension enough to just stay away.

        After some time, an amazing incident interrupted my life. My parents took and dropped me off at a spin off Billy Graham crusade event. To this day, I don’t know why because I was not causing any obvious grief and they were not church goers. I suppose now I could say God is always after us because he loves us when we don’t know what is happening. [ more to follow]

The Way [more honesty] June 7

In the scripture John 18:38, when Jesus was asked by Pilate what was the truth, Christ was amazingly silent. I don’t intend to speculate what all that meant, but Jesus could have answered a great deal. But scripture already indicated the significant fact when Jesus said, “I am the Truth and the Way.” [John 14:6].

        Truth and the way are all around us. When I really look at a tree or a flower, I am seeing the Way. When I see a newborn, I see the Way. When I hear a heart-rendering song, I am reminded of the Way. When Jesus created all things [John 1:3;10, Ro.11:36, Col.1:15-16, Heb.1:2, Rev3:14], he built the Way into the cosmos.

What is this Way? Basically, it is the existence of absolute reality, a true and permanent realness, a basis for honest living. Along with this authenticity came Truth. Jesus, then, is the pure truth and genuine reality of all existence. No tricks or guesses here. The Way of Jesus points to salvation of the broken relationship of all humanity and shows truth alive and available to all who seek. From the Way and Truth emerges the issue of honesty.

        Right up front, you need to realize that honesty for us does not always mean accuracy. Honesty does not always mean doing the correct thing. Although doing the correct thing is certainly more favorable than the wrong thing. You may display honest feelings and thoughts yet be incorrect, inaccurate. I can say to you, “I’ve lied about something.” I told a truth but also revealed inaccuracy---lying. The nature of lying is inaccurate. So, in your journey, your growth is not enough just to honestly confess some error. The confession may only be a beginning.

        When the writer John 8:32 said, “know truth and the truth will set you free,” he was initially talking about Jesus as Truth without error. This is pure truth, not just accuracy, but flawless, undiluted factual  truth. The apostle Paul in 2 Cor.3:17 further emphasizes that the right truthfulness creates a liberty, in other words, an ability to live honesty that does not have a mixture of part truth or mixture of part freedom. Unfortunately, you can have part truth and part freedom but fall short of Jesus’ flawless truth. For instance, there exists a psychological guide that says we tend to believe 50% of some idea if we know little about it. Advertising sure knows this one. It is also why I believe people trust things like horoscope readings. Those readings display 50% truth immediately.

We need strength and a different perspective to grapple with truth issues. Jesus instilled in humankind a spirit of absolute truth that is accessible to humans. It is called the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit’s job helps interpret half-truths and helps us get free from any bondage rule of half-truth. He gives us the dynamic energy and fortitude to press toward discarding falsehood for a better way. I’m concerned, too many of us live half-truths, like advertising slogans or horoscopes.

        One of the issues that may have trapped you is how you define and view truth. Of course, there is universal truth in our world, like different seasons of Nature. These are facts we live with, like water is H2O, part hydrogen and part oxygen. As far as we know, here on earth, gravity is always gravity unless you use technology to go against it, like a rocket. There are many facts we live with but my concern here is not about those. I’m not talking about established, basic factual truths only.

        I am referring here to the aspect that truth has two perspectives in our day. There is truth that appears on the surface and truth beneath or behind surface. For instance, one of my 1940’s dining room chairs shows the truth of a chair. It has wood, cloth, maple finish and a certain design. You can touch it and say, “Yes, that’s a chair.” That is truth. But behind that nice piece of furniture, there is another truth: the original idea of that chair someone dreamed about. So, you have the truth you see, and behind it, the truth of the idea you don’t see. This illustrates a challenge we encounter, as we travel an honesty road. There will be outside truth you see and underneath truth you must discover and admit.

        For now, I ask you to commit to developing an openness that is willing to investigate truth. While somewhat scary, you are not alone in the endeavor. The Holy Spirit knows your every feeling and is with you. But facing yourself with a correct and trustworthy truth can lead to better values and better living. Take the journey with me. I think you will find immediate rewards.

More Honesty June 6

If you could have a discussion with the followers of Jesus from the Bible days, what would they say about living an honest life? I think the disciples that followed Jesus would say, “It’s a hard saying.” But the truth down deep, behind all the protections built up, behind the pretenses, I discovered I am not the all-knowing expert or king I think I am. The truth is I am often a slave to my inner desires, my resentments, my emotional fears. The more king I think I am, the more I must build defenses to protect my self-image and what I think my kingdom.

 With my personal journey, I don’t think I’m alone in this. I look around in church for instance and see the frowns on people’s faces; I see the nice clothes and clean skin, but underneath vibrates the unsolved pain. I think they are inwardly sick of themselves at times just as I am because they lack the wholeness of the one true reality, the freshness of truth that can help them start over again. And here, I am not talking about the trapped hypocrites in their blindness, but most well-meaning Christians who will leave church service and often the first word they speak will be some criticism for self-protection or a lie to themselves and others. And they will enter Monday morning the world of duplicity and try to get by with all they can no matter what. I know I’m not immune.

        So, I think it is time to give authentic, genuine honesty a try. Of course, we need to admit we have missed the mark with God; we have fallen short of holy living and humanity by excusing deception as some sort of survival. We all know the world places high approval and priority on survival, but survival to the extreme means “anything goes.”  For the authentic Christian, survival should enter the realm of moderation. Not all things are worth surviving, especially, if bad behavior reigns instead of God’s kingdom.

        Let’s just admit the way we used to do things may not be reaching our best potential for God. Let’s try and display to the culture around us, a fresh and crisp honesty in the name of Jesus above every name.

        Colossians 3:9-10 says it best, “(9) Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old self with its practices (10) and have put on the new self. You are being renewed in knowledge according to the image of your Creator.” [ CSB, Holman]. That living, actual image of the Creator is Jesus himself in history and in present reality.

Honesty continued June 5

Day in and day out, I have often thought I was mostly aware I wanted to do God’s will, but some days I don’t feel I have fulfilled my desire. I admit in my deeper self, I want what I want so I put the best face on things. When my wife points to some irritating habit, I tend to react and defend myself, all the while knowing she loves me, is usually accurate and only wants what is best for me. Sometimes I can get us to laugh by hanging my head and saying, “I’m sorry, I promise I’ll try to do better next time.”

        I know things like admitting a weakness or falsehood remains uncomfortable. But remember, EASINESS is not the goal here. You may even disagree with some of this material and raise an eyebrow because you start to defend. But aren’t you tired of being strongly wrong and only weakly, right? Wouldn’t you enjoy the freshness of burdens lifted, operating on a single accurate Christian motivation of honesty?

        The two people I have known that lived honesty all the time were extremely attractive people to spend time within any activity. I was always drawn to them like a magnet. Maybe that is what happened to the disciples in Jesus’ day when people were drawn to them because the Bible in the book of Acts talks about them being winsome. When Jesus said, the truth would set you free, there is much more implied than we realize. Free from the burden of dishonesty is like being told you are free from cancer.

        How do we begin the correct journey? Is there a formula? At least, there must be a process. I don’t think we can get zapped into total honesty all at once. The first hard step for me was to admit a subtle but twisted concept. Inaccurately, I felt in most circumstances, I was the center of the world around me and I alone had all the answers needed. It reminds me of one time I got lost in some woods while hunting.

        Puffy Oklahoma clouds hung overhead; a misty rain fell slowly. I could not see the sun to tell different directions. I kept saying to myself, “I’m not lost. I have never been lost. I just don’t know where I am?” I spent five hours and 8 miles wandering around in circles. My game warden friend will tell you that the first thing you should do when lost in the woods is to sit down and admit you are lost. The second thing is to light a fire if possible. Admitting being lost brings clearer thinking. Lighting a fire can calm the nerves. These precautions are so you won’t do dumb things, like walking in circles because of panic. Some people have died from panic. They start wandering through the woods, get hot, start taking off clothes and often freeze when the weather is cold.

        The point is, at first, I was too prideful to admit I was lost. I’d hunted for years and not had that happen. When I finally admitted the truth to myself, I quit running amuck, sat down and calmly figured a correct direction to walk. I became weary and completely tired but learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes you should face a weakness, an error, a false idea to discover a real solution. By admitting where I went wrong (my weak point), I could turn it into strength (an accurate solution).

More Honesty June 4

Please forgive and stay with me for using “I” so much but my attempt is to reveal an inner self that is not easy nor popular to do.

        For example, I know I am continually perplexed when I tell a lie so quickly and do not mean to at the time. I always think there are many good reasons why to avoid truth: fear I won’t be understood and loved, covering some secret I think important, avoiding a truth I have buried, or telling the truth might hurt someone’s feelings. You see, there is always a good reason for bad behavior. That is what our culture accepts so easily.

        Frankly, I am tired of carrying a false load of sham and pretenses and I hope you are too. I may start small, but I am going to work a process. I am going to pick two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening to practice total honesty. People better not ask me something between those times unless they really want to know the truth. Of course, I will try to be kind, but I will practice telling the truth in love. If I can get good enough at truth telling, I will extend my hours, but for now, I am going to start with the two-hour approach. I am not suggesting that “Wow, now I have a legitimate time period around those honesty times I have excuse to lie.” Nope. I just need to schedule myself as some kind of accountability measure. You may need to find your own approach.

        You see, I think one roadblock for truth is we all have problems with self-deception. If someone attacks me personally, let’s say my competence, I am quick to attack back because my upbringing taught me to defend myself whenever.

        Instead, as a person committed to Christian dynamic and Biblical teaching, I should be willing to face the truth that I may not be God’s only gift to the world. Some may even see me as a pain in the posterior. Somehow, I must learn an attitude that responds with, “thanks for your perspective. I may disagree but I could be wrong.” I have come to realize I experience a new kind of liberation to admit a wrong or even some weakness to the right people.

In the years of my doctoral dissertation, I developed a form called a “modelgram” that measured people’s responses while in marriage groups. It showed that a remarkably high percentage of participants responded favorably when the leader of the group started a session by admitting a personal foul-up through the week.

In fact, most behavioral scientists will tell you that releasing a pent-up feeling in a right setting, like getting it out in the open, may be 80 to 90% of any helping process. May be that is another reason James 5:16 in the Bible talks about “confessing our faults one to another.”

[more later]