Day in and day out, I have
often thought I was mostly aware I wanted to do God’s will, but some days I don’t
feel I have fulfilled my desire. I admit in my deeper self, I want what I want
so I put the best face on things. When my wife points to some irritating habit,
I tend to react and defend myself, all the while knowing she loves me, is
usually accurate and only wants what is best for me. Sometimes I can get us to
laugh by hanging my head and saying, “I’m
sorry, I promise I’ll try to do better next time.”
I know things like admitting a weakness or falsehood remains
uncomfortable. But remember, EASINESS is not the goal here. You may even
disagree with some of this material and raise an eyebrow because you start to
defend. But aren’t you tired of being strongly wrong and only weakly, right?
Wouldn’t you enjoy the freshness of burdens lifted, operating on a single accurate
Christian motivation of honesty?
The two people I have known that lived honesty all the time
were extremely attractive people to spend time within any activity. I was
always drawn to them like a magnet. Maybe that is what happened to the
disciples in Jesus’ day when people were drawn to them because the Bible in the
book of Acts talks about them being winsome. When Jesus said, the truth would set you free, there is
much more implied than we realize. Free from the burden of dishonesty is like
being told you are free from cancer.
How do we begin the correct journey? Is there a formula? At
least, there must be a process. I don’t think we can get zapped into total
honesty all at once. The first hard step for me was to admit a subtle but
twisted concept. Inaccurately, I felt in most circumstances, I was the center
of the world around me and I alone had all the answers needed. It reminds me of
one time I got lost in some woods while hunting.
Puffy Oklahoma clouds hung overhead; a misty rain fell
slowly. I could not see the sun to tell different directions. I kept saying to
myself, “I’m not lost. I have never been
lost. I just don’t know where I am?” I spent five hours and 8 miles
wandering around in circles. My game warden friend will tell you that the first
thing you should do when lost in the woods is to sit down and admit you are lost. The second thing is to
light a fire if possible. Admitting being lost brings clearer thinking.
Lighting a fire can calm the nerves. These precautions are so you won’t do dumb
things, like walking in circles because of panic. Some people have died from
panic. They start wandering through the woods, get hot, start taking off
clothes and often freeze when the weather is cold.
The point is, at first, I was too prideful to admit I was
lost. I’d hunted for years and not had that happen. When I finally admitted the
truth to myself, I quit running amuck, sat down and calmly figured a correct
direction to walk. I became weary and completely tired but learned a valuable
lesson. Sometimes you should face a weakness, an error, a false idea to
discover a real solution. By admitting where I went wrong (my weak point), I
could turn it into strength (an accurate solution).
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